She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
