No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
