yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
