I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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