I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
