Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
