Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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