Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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