Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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