I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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