If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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