Did you just see the Batmobile???
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
