my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
