Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize