it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize