Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
