If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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