whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
