Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
