its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
