Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
