It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
