Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
