had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
