I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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