Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize