I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
