.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I love having hate sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
