Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize