try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
