Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Alive.
So much puke
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
