ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
