just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My ass is underappreciated
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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