I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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