Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
