Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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