He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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