I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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