Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
