i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
