how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
