Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
