i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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