I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize