so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Drunk is not a location!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
