I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
