all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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