Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize