I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize