i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
