That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just want nice things and good sex
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
