it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
