You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can I color on your dick again?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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