turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
