whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
