you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
