Who did Billy Mays play for?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
