I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
