STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
