So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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