Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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