I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
