Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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