you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
