There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
