is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
